My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
