So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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