I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I wish you could order shots online.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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