2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
