I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
