LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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