My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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