what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
