Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
