I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
