You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
