Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
