I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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