i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
