Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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