Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
