Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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