Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
