So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
