We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize