she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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