I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
