I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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