I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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