Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
how drunk are you?
Several
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
