I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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