glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
