I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
