i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
