i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
