He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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