Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
