I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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