I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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