If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
