I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
