dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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