My balls are so social today.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
worst night to have a conscience
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
