don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
