And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
