Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
