She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
