Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize