Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
