We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
