i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
