I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
