3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Who died my cat blue again?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
