yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
