she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
