What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
