dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
