What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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