Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
