I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
