He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize