I wish i was in the wii world.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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